Oh go cry me a mountain.

Yes, life is hard and it can suck. Sounds like you were both having a hard time of it. People telling you to kick the bum to the curb.

Please...

What is this about "respect"? I really don't see what that has to do with it. This was just because he was at his wits end - more of a control issue as he said. In no way was that a case of disrespect. You "interpret" that as disrespect, he interprets it as "control" - specifically the need to not tell you and he is still is own person. Now if this happened every week and you discussed it and it sill happening and tells you are stupid or some other actually disrespectful term, then that may be a "respect" issue.

People just sometimes do "crazy" things and if it is outside their normal behavior, then that is how you should treat it. Just because it happens once or even several times, it doesn't mean all respect and trust is out the window. While certainly not considerate and somewhat bizarre, that is probably just how he processes and handles things like that - it may not have anything to do with respect as you frame it in your mind.