This goes along with all those well intended friends who say that "love will come along when you least expect it" which is just a pile of crap. Really, the only reason why this is said is so that you will be less frustrated by simply giving up so we don't have to hear you complain. Successful people succeed by taking action, not just waiting around for a miracle to happen. In the case of dating, "improving yourself" is nice, but is still a form of waiting for a miracle to happen. So kudos to the guy who has the confidence to talk to the girl in the gym. I have personally never seen it as you have described. Never - and I go to the gym a lot. If you want to stand out from the crowd, just talk to the girl. It's a completely lost art.