This isn’t about extending grace. This is about explaining the general behavior of women and men in public places or really any place. Yes, you are always on alert and that clearly translates into “men — stay away!”. How can any man extend any “grace” to someone who is putting up such wall? Maybe what you mean by “grace” is to accept that and then just completely ignore you back. I think this is exactly what happens in most public places and brings us to the middle school dance where everybody thinks everyone has cooties. Which brings me back to my initial response that women have no need of advice on how to attract men when what they really want and need is how to repel men.