Well, no, I think people are seriously out of whack when it comes to expectations in marriage. Is it really a "commitment"? They should really put in the vows for better for worse, for faithfullness and unfaithfulness, for in love and out of love. Would anyone make those vows to make clear what it means for better or worse? I don't think so, you're allowed to bail for almost any reason at all these days. If you have any "loopholes", then it isn't "commitment" which means stay together and workout your problems no matter what, no exceptions. That never happens, but yet stands as a very unrealistic expectation.
I find it paradoxical that the first reaction that a women has to a man being unfaithful is to "dump" him. That isn't a very productive way to work on a problem if you have a commitment to staying together. It is in fact the exact opposite of what you should do. How much do you "love" them if you are willing to dump them in an "instant"?
It is also highly unrealistic to think that when a man marries, that he automatically turns off all attraction to all women. Yes, he becomes a monk. The reality is that he must consciously suppress that base instinct and many fail. And, no - you will not remain the most beautiful woman in the world. Reality is that for most men, it is not a question of "if" but rather "when" a man is tempted into infidelity and to what degree. You should fully expect it in any healthy man. Hard to accept, but true. You can choose to be prepared for that and work on it or just run away as your first instincts would have you do.
It is also highly unrealistic to think that romantic love lasts forever. Sorry, it just doesn't in most marriages. As Jessica Alba recently complained, it was honeymoon for 2.5 years and then it was roommates and she was out of there. No commitment there.
A more realistic expectation is that you become "family", like brother and sister instead of roommates. You work together for the good of the family and may bicker and struggle. But this should be considered "normal" instead of looking at Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce and thinking my romance is dead, I want a divorce. All unrealistic expectations which I think IMHO are causing the massive number of women initiated divorces. You can quibble and take cheap shots about the specific Gates case, but I think that Melinda and most other women divorced for many of the reasons that I have stated.
I also find this whole bit about women supporting other women divorcing their perfectly boring husbands is very toxic. It's great to support your friend in distress in whatever they do, but when they come to you and say they'd like to be a serial killer, you really ought to have some limits on supporting bad and destructive behavior. We don't know the details of the Gates divorce, but celebrating and justifying other people's divorces is just sickening. It is always a great tragedy, especially when young children are involved.
