You are absolutely correct, you should not choose someone who isn't choosing you, period. At least you weren't "ghosted" and got closure. It could have easily ended with no explanation at all, which seems a very popular way to breakup.

My only recommendation would be that if you are looking for "marriage material" instead of just having "casual fun", then you should timebox relationships. When you start a relationship, have that marriage goal in mind and spend enough time to get to know them. Depending on what you do, that could be 3-6 months. After that time when you know as much as you're going to know, that is when you decide what the final form of your relationship should be. That could be breaking up, or friends with benefits, or friends without benefits or marriage material. If it is marriage material, then that should be explicitly discussed and agreed upon (not just assumed). It's fish or cut bait time. What you don't want to be doing is being in a relationship for "years" and be in a situationship where you don't know where you stand. It doesn't take years to know if someone is going to be right for you. It just doesn't. If someone is marriage material, then you should be "engaged" which is not a legal commitment, and you can always back out of, but shows intent. You can stay engaged for years if you wish. I would also keep the bedroom fun at a minimum. I would jokingly say "pretend you are married". If you provide a man unlimited fun, then you have just completely removed any incentive to move the relationship forward and provided all the reason to continue the situationship even if they really don't like you.

I think one of the major, major problem with dating is that high value people are chronically unavailable because they are constantly stuck in these "long term relationships" that go on for years, but never result in a permanent relationship. You know, if he wanted to, he would. This just ties up everyone of value and when the right person comes along, you won't be available. So, if everyone stopped dating for years and timeboxed it, more people would get a chance and you wouldn't feel so bad about "wasting" so much time.